My Final Thoughts On Castle

Well, it’s over. Um, in reality it was over about a month ago, but I’m really lazy.

Castle has been my longest relationship. (Explanation time: I made a post about my shows as relationships.) I first watched it over two years ago as a thirteen year old. I’d know a little about the show previously because one of my friends was obsessed with it. (I originally assumed it was some stuffy show about guys in powder wigs – word association, Castle with, well, castles, and Beckett with that Beckett guy from Pirates of the Caribbean.) I wasn’t interested until my step mom started watching at nights, and I couldn’t help observing. I think the first episode I ever watched was Famous Last Words. The first one I was REALLY into was Love Me Dead. (I guessed that the call girl was involved, and I was right, and it was exhilarating.)  The first one I watched with any seriousness was Valkyrie on Hulu – I’d investigated and found that only S6 was on Hulu, and decided not to start there, but an early morning viewing of The Host (a terrible, boring movie) drove me to watch Castle. And… I loved it. I remember thinking to myself, This is like a movie but more of it! It was the first show I’d watched that I’d really been able to get invested in. I’d watched TV all my life, but Castle was different. It had better romance, better action, and a good amount of comedy. I was sucked in, and watched S6 in about a week. And then I was like, What do I do now? The answer was DVR all the reruns on TNT, and binge Once Upon a Time. (Which started a whole new set of problems.)

Castle was always different, though. I watched from That ’70’s Show to For Better Or Worse as they aired, while watching all the important episodes after school, lying on our leather couch we don’t have anymore with a bowl of Skinny Pop in my hands and a Pomeranian on my lap. And then I saw the FBOW cliffhanger, and immediately had like ten criseses. To this day, a cliffhanger hasn’t affected me like this one. I spent the entire summer, well, traveling, and theorizing about what the S7 premiere would look like.  I was full of ideas. I thought about it almost constantly, trying to piece together ideas such as whether the fact that Castle’s phone went to voicemail when Beckett called was something she could use to figure out he wasn’t in the car (I knew he wasn’t dead, of course). I caught up to episodes over the summer. I memorized the date of it’s premiere. I barely slept the night before (I wasn’t allowed to stay up until 10 to watch it). “It’s like Christmas, but with murder!” -an actual quote from me.

And then…

Driven was a total freaking disappointment.

I tried to stay positive. I had hope! But S7 really was a disappointment. I watched The Time of our Lives the day after my cat died (Caskett wedding was associated with several emotional events in my life, actually, wow), and was happy… at first. But the further I got into S7, the more I just wasn’t impressed. I was looking for it to be the awesome show I’d spent my entire summer watching, but it just… wasn’t. I watched The Simpsons (not in it’s entirety, it’s freaking long), and then Friends. I got really excited about the two parter, Resurrection and Reckoning, and wasn’t disappointed. (Reckoning, despite its eeriness, is one of my favorites.) I bought all 6 seasons on DVD for my birthday, and started rewatching with my mom. (I had to do a lot of laundry in preparation for my mom’s wedding and my stepdad moving in, so I used to rewatch episodes while I did laundry alone at his house.) I watched HIMYM, and got self righteous about another show. I watched Hollander’s Woods, and really liked it. My mom got married. I wasn’t all that invested in the proposition of S8 until I started getting spoilers. The TVLine blind item about a couple breaking up got me thinking. (Actually, people online arguing about whether Caskett would break up is where I first heard of Mulder and Scully.) I don’t want to talk about me thinking the breakup would be a good thing. (Seriously, don’t read my reviews of the first few episodes of S8, I was kind of crazy.) Castle wasn’t the show it used to be, and I was ready to do anything to get it back. Coincidentally, the breakup, while not a good idea, might have been better if it were handled better, and parts of it were, but I was upset by the fact that Castle didn’t seem upset, and it was just kind of a mess. One thing that wasn’t added back (because it wasn’t there in S7) was the banter of Castle and Beckett. The combination of making Beckett captain and Castle a full-time PI was that the heart of the show was lifted. Another thing that changed was the humor. In a discussion with my dad the other day, I mentioned that there are different types of humor. Castle used to have what I call sophisticated humor – based around one liners and somewhat ridiculous yet plausible situations, and a sufficient mix of emotions that isn’t broken up by jokes. The other type is the kind you might see in Adam Sandler movies. There’s nothing wrong with those movies, but Castle was never that type of show. It was a dramedy, the comedy mixed perfectly with the drama, in a style that was respectful to the darker tone of the show. That was one of the things that changed after S6 – for example, the bit in that episode where Castle is destroying the apartment looking for a suspect (and makes a fat joke, which is ridiculous). It didn’t help that Castle went from mystery writer who was a pretty good CONSULTANT to Beckett, Ryan, and Espo’s capable cop to a skilled PI who at the same time was an idiot (???). There’s a lot of problems with  S8, and I began to notice that the show was getting further into the hole dug by S7. I went batcrap crazy for The X Files, and forgot Castle again. The episodes were barely enjoyable anymore, and when they were, that enjoyment was stifled by the next episodes. I still watched, but without much passion. And then I found out they were getting rid of Beckett and Lanie, something I never thought they’d do.

I went a little nuts. Essentially, it was against everything I ever wanted from the show. Caskett – romantically and detective-ly – was the heart of the show. And while Castle was certainly important – his name is the name of the show – Beckett was always the driving force of the show. For six seasons, without Beckett, there was no show – Castle had no reason to be at the 12th without her, and he always came back for her. The show was about the two of them, and I never thought they’d get rid of her. I was livid – I still watched the episodes, but stopped reviewing. And eventually, I just stopped – I still haven’t seen Hell to Pay in it’s entirety. I wasn’t going to be able to see the finale, because I was leaving really early on my class trip the morning after, but I planned to find out whether Beckett died or not the next morning. I hoped and prayed for it to end for the first time in my life. 13-year-old me wouldn’t have recognized me – once upon a time, I’d hoped Castle would go on forever – or at least for a few good seasons. But the prospect of the show without Beckett terrified me.

And then… and then… it was canceled, and my relief was so high. I didn’t see the finale until almost a week later, but I immediately looked up the ending on YouTube, and was surprised and delighted. It was perfect! I mean, not the whole shooting thing, but at least Caskett was still together (*side-eyes HIMYM*) and happy with their children (*side-eyes XF*)… and I was happy. I eventually watched Crossfire, and was not impressed, but I’m still happy with the ending. Because I can ignore S8 now. Because I know they’re happy, and that’s never gonna change. (Unless you think the last 40 seconds was the afterlife shhh it’s not true.)

The thing is that Crossfire didn’t feel like a finale. LokSat was boring, and the only thing it wrapped up was Caskett. Although Espo, Ryan, and Lanie all had some small sense of closure, I guess (Ryan is happy with his wife and kids, Espo had a thing with his ex-fiance?, Lanie had a thing with No-Death Guy, even Haley was going on and on about her new family), it wasn’t there in the finale. Hollander’s Woods was a better finale then Crossfire will ever be.

I think I liked the drama of the show, because I feed off of drama and angst like a vampire. But I appreciated the comedy. I love love, so I loved Caskett. The macabre and dated feel of the murder mysteries are another thing I love (I love playing Guess Whodunit, which I can’t do with any other shows). And I’ve seen Caskett compared to a screwball comedy romance, which might be why I was so drawn to them – I was really into I Love Lucy and old movies before I got on the Castle train. I loved Castle and his nerdiness, his writer self who looked for the story, no matter how ridiculous. I loved Beckett, who was strong and capable and complex and goofy, a well developed character – I love her character arc almost more than Castle’s, because I’ve seen Playboy Turns Nice Guy more often then Strong Determined Woman Confronts Her Demons To Let Herself be Happy. I loved Alexis, totally normal and yet different teenager, who loved her dad so much. I loved Martha, who loved her son less obviously but still strongly, who was eccentric and dramatic, who encouraged Castle to pursue Beckett. I loved Ryan and Esposito, their personalities and their bromance, and their friendship with Castle and Beckett, the sibling protectiveness of Beckett. I loved Lanie, a strong friend for Beckett and love interest for Esposito, sassing it up in the morgue. I loved Montgomery, a strong father figure for the precinct, and Gates grew on me, with her begrudging affection towards Beckett and eventually Castle.  There is so, so much for me to love about this show, so so much to come back to.

The last two seasons, especially S8, were ultimately disappointing. Castle was almost unrecognizable, Beckett was barely there, and it was all kind of a mess. But the thing is, the first 6 seasons were pretty much my definition of a perfect show. It had great character development, great supporting characters, complex plotlines, a realistic, satisfying, and not overdone (ahem) will-they-won’t-they, a perfect mix of comedy and drama, the show stayed good (for a while) after Caskett became a thing… in fact, if it weren’t for those last two seasons, it would probably go up next to Friends as my closer-than-not-to-perfect show. And those six seasons are beautiful. The complicated story of two people who mean a lot to each other.

I always say that a show presents a goal in the beginning, usually in the very first episode. (Shows that don’t have a goal usually work well because of that.) And the finale is usually about accomplishing that goal. Some people might say that Castle‘s goal was to find Beckett’s mother’s killer – which, yes, was important, and I think wrapped up too soon to a point where the mythology kind of flailed in the last two seasons. But that wasn’t the goal. From the very beginning, Castle was a love story. A love story about two very different people who think the same way, the one who was in love from the beginning (you’ll have to pry the fact that Castle was in love in the first episode from my cold, dead hands; he followed her when she was confronting a murder suspect in the second freaking episode!), and the one who had to grow on him. A love story mixed in with the stories of others, where they were just passing characters, but everyone had their own story. A love story. And where the last scene shows Castle and Beckett happy with their three kids (time travel confirmed, baby), they reached their goal, even if they took a different path than expected, even if they crawled the last few steps there. “Everything I’ve ever done, every choice I’ve ever made, every terrible and wonderful thing that’s ever happened to me, it’s all led me to right here, this moment with you,” Castle said in the excellent S6 episode Smells Like Teen Spirit (x), and I think that’s a good, if not a little wistful and unrealistic, way of looking like that. Of course, there is that old saying it’s the journey, not the destination, and that’s true, too, although not with this philosophy. But so much of the journey was beautiful, and memorable – it made me laugh, it made me gasp and have a jumpy stomach, it kept me up at night, it made me go aww – that it’s easier to ignore those bad parts. Sure, S7-8 was bad, but they had their moments, and besides, you know it ends well, which is a privilege I haven’t gotten with some shows (*side-eyes HIMYM*). And as cheesy and weird as it may sounds, the journey is still going for Castle and Beckett. We as viewers know that they are happy, and can imagine whatever we want happening to them. I watched The Blue Butterfly a lot – one of my favorites – and I said to myself, I want that for Castle and Beckett, what Joe and Vera had. And they had it. I don’t think you can ask for much better than that.

Me, I’ve traveled with Castle for over two years now – through emotional and wonderful moments, through thick and thin  and replacing it with the shiny, new Netflix binge – and, to be cheesy and quote Caskett, it’ll always be one of my favorites. Always.

Why “Castle” Should End

So some of you may have noticed I didn’t review the last couple episodes of Castle. Yes, consistency is a problem for me, but there’s a different reason. I bailed on reviewing after I found out that Stana Katic would not be returning as Beckett, as well as Tamala Jones not returning as Lanie, if there is a S9.

Here’s the thing: I know that things happen behind the scenes. I get it. I do. I don’t claim to know the motive behind this. But let’s face it: Castle isn’t Castle without one of it’s lead characters. Anyone who has read my X Files reviews has heard me go on and on about how a show centered around two characters should not try and continue without one of them. The same thing applies to Castle. Beckett is just as important, IF NOT MORE important, than Castle, and that her storylines are arguably better than Castle’s. Don’t get me wrong, I love Castle, and I love watching his character development right alongside Beckett’s. But Castle’s development is the type of thing we’ve seen a million times in stories. But I haven’t seen many well-written character arcs like Beckett’s, and maybe that’s just because I’ve been watching the wrong thing, but Beckett is an amazing character. You get to watch her work through her issues with her mother’s murder, work towards a relationship with Castle. She is a real character with real issues and you get to see those issues, along with her PSTD, among other things, play out onscreen, which is another thing I don’t see a lot. She is – or was – a well written  character, one who filled out half of the Caskett love story and was a delight to watch for six seasons. And Lanie should absolutely not leave, either! She was never a huge character, but I always enjoyed her sarcasm and storylines, and I loved her friendship with Beckett.

Here’s the thing: I’ve disliked, if not outright loathed, the past few seasons. Yes, I was optimistic at the beginning of S8 (and I often want to headdesk when thinking of my enthusiasm over the breakup) but here’s the thing. I largely think S7 failed because it was trying too hard to be funny. And maybe that’s just because as a writer, I am an angst-monger, but you know, the dark episodes excelled where the light episodes failed. It switched from being a witty, but still very dramatic, show, to basically being I Love Lucy means murder. And don’t get me wrong – I appreciate comedy. But that’s never what Castle was. S7 felt wrong, and I’ve been trying to explain it, and I’m not going to try anymore. But another thing was that with storylines like the PI venture, the episodes went from the majority being about Castle and Beckett solving cases to Castle and the boys, or Castle riding solo. (Lanie’s role has been diminished here recently as well, which I hate.) I thought the issue was that all the suspense had been taken out of their relationship, and I thought it would be good if it went back to the days of S1-4. But it was impossible to work with that when it was still largely about Castle instead of Caskett together. That sweet moment in whatevertheheck e3 was called in the jail cell may have carried more tension and romance if she hadn’t literally left him two nights ago. And yes, the breakup brought about sweet moments, but it also wasted good story potential by not having Castle get mad – or do very much questioning – until e8. Really, besides the 3XK storyline last season, all of the long running storylines that made the show great have been dumped or gotten bad. The show itself has gotten bad, and while I was still begging for a renewal last season, this season I didn’t really care. It had become clear that the show wasn’t going to change.

However, once I found out that Beckett was definitely not coming back, my own departure from the show was a sure thing. Because the show does not work without Beckett. She has still been a part of these seasons, but her role has been greatly diminished. They did two episodes without her, and they were honestly two of the worst I’ve ever seen. And again, I understand that things come up that can’t be helped, but honestly, when the writing is bad and one of your leads plays a much smaller part compared to previous seasons, it’s time for a cop-out. (Cop-out? Get it? Okay, maybe I shouldn’t criticize the comedy if I’m gonna make jokes like that.) But when your LEAD character is leaving? Abso-freaking-lutely. Shows – especially shows like this – are never as good after a character leaves. As reference points, see the last two seasons of The Office (it held it’s own for a while, but was never the same), and S8 and 9 of X Files. Honestly, the only way I see Beckett leaving even remotely working is if they kill her off. Which will probably happen. And honestly, maybe I’d be okay with that if I thought they’d pay tribute to her in S9 by having lots of depressing mourning, and Castle, Ryan, and Espo hunting down her killers with a vengeance. But, no, they’ll probably stick to their comedy guns.

So I say: end the show and send in the show’s finale. Don’t kill Beckett! It doesn’t work with the premise of the show. It’s a betrayal of the people who have stuck with the show for years. It’s a betrayal of my 13-yo self, who watched Castle after school with her Pomeranian while eating popcorn, and falling into the Caskett dumpster face first. I’ve always said a show should go out on top, and if it ends here, it’ll be limping out, but at least it won’t be dead. Honest to God, I never would’ve thought I’d be saying this, but I’m saying it: end the show. Don’t beat the dead horse. Instead of Beckett, just kill Castle.

(The show, that is. Not the character.)

Castle Dreams of Genie (Castle 8×17)

It had to be done, okay?

Okay, so this one is my favorite episode of the series. And I’m not just saying that because I’m a long time Paranormal Enthusiast™ and X-Files fan. I’m saying it because it felt like an episode of the show I used to love, what with the crazy Castle theory that the boys rag on, and Beckett’s eyerolls and secret adoration, and the question of “is it a genie or not…?” never quite being answered. I love that. I love the ultimate coyness of those storylines. And the comedy didn’t fall flat, but instead felt like the witty-ness we used to get such a long time ago…

Okay, maybe I’m being dramatic, and this still probably would never make my favorites list, but it was enjoyable! It was cute. I mean, who doesn’t love seeing actual five-year-old Castle (“What are you, five years old?” said the lady pointing a gun at him. YES.) fangirl over a genie! It’s the same kind of thing we got in previous vampire/mummy/ghost/demon/zombie episodes that I love so. Being a Paranormal Enthusiast™ helps. (Aka, dangle something fantastic in front of me, and I’ll perk up and sniff the wind. Take notes, writers. Take notes.) Who doesn’t love to see Beckett loving it and also thinking it’s ridiculous? And who doesn’t love seeing the Ryan subplot with his new son (awww, he named it after Espo, so sweet). I said “ya saps, ya saps,” about ten times during those last two minutes. I’ve missed that vibe. I’ve missed Lanie. This feels right. It just feels right.

Also: my X-Files addled brain can’t help but note the many similarities between this and this episode of XF? I mean, I’m sorry, but… dead people + female genie? (Only potential on our end, but that is the Castle way, my friend.) Mr. X? I Dream of Jeannie references? (I guess it’s inevitable. See my title. Also: I’ve never actually seen the show, so if I’m wrong, please correct me.) If anything, this episode was yet more confirmation that if some miraculous crossover were to happen (I know it wouldn’t, since they air on different networks and more seasons are confirmed for neither, BUT STILL), Mulder and Castle would be best paranormal loving, literal five year old friends. I’m sorry, but it had to be done.

ANYWAY. Back to Castle. Maybe I’m biased, since I’ve always loved the paranormal, mysterious side of Castle, but this episode was great IMO. So take note, writers, take note. Do I love S8? No, not really. Do I approve of the breakup? I can’t believe I ever did. Is there any coming back to the show’s heyday? Who actually even knows at this point? But I’ll assure everyone of one thing: if every episode from here on out was similar to this, then I’d be a happy girl indeed.

 

One of Those Blast From The Past Eps (Castle 8×16 Review)

Well, I’ve always hated the “blast from the past” stories on shows because whatever former love interest is introduced doesn’t stick around, whether you like them or no. And I actually kinda liked Sonia. But I find it a tad bit unbelievable that Espo wouldn’t mention his fiance in over eight years? Oh, well.

The case was… well, I felt like most of the comedy routines and the nostalgia took away from it. Which doesn’t have to be bad, but the Esposito/Sonia story was impossible to get invested in because I knew we were never gonna see her again. The comedy is a whole other issue to talk about. This wasn’t a bad story, but I think it was introduced kind of clumsily executed? Just me? I mean, I just wasn’t invested, and for that, I’m sorry. I’ve always enjoyed Esposito as a character.

Now for my other issues. Castle is starting to seem like less and less of a DRAMedy and more of a flat out comedy. There is a fine line between drama and comedy, and Castle has done a good job of walking it. They’ve always had a good mix of dramatic and character driven moments in contrast to their comedic moments, built mostly on one-liners and over-the-top cases. Lately, however, it’s been the opposite, like the moments in this episode, and the ones surrounding it. A cop playing the knife game with a suspect? A computer trying to kick Beckett out of the house? I’m sorry, but that sounds like a bad sitcom episode. (I don’t even think the Friends crew could fix that one.) They’ve been trying too hard for laughs. And nothing is worse than trying too hard for laughs. Whatever has happened to the show since it’s heyday, I wish it would be fixed because this is not the show I fell in love with, Caskett is not the couple I got starry-eyed over, and if the show is gonna keep going, I wanna know that it’s not off a cliff.

Stop Being Stupid About Love (Shadowhunters 1×11-12)

Which some people did, and other people didn’t. Joy!

I’m sorry, I know this is overdue. Procrastination sucks so bad. But I promise I’ll do better with the finale, and hopefully a LOT better with S2.

Well. I’ve gotta say, eventful episodes. I enjoyed Magnus lawyering for Izzy, and Lydia defending her fiance’s sister (finally). And then the entire thing escalated quickly into “LETS DO A WEDDING, LIKE, NOW”. (I could say something about really, they’re having a wedding when last episode all they cared about was getting Valentine? but I won’t.) I love how this show is basically about some big, dysfunctional family with a bunch of relationship drama.

I love the Magnus scenes in “Malec”. I loved how they handled the Ragnor story (because we never even met him in the books), although I gotta agree with Magnus about the green pure-of-heart fire. I love Izzy and her bachelor party and going to Simon for advice and getting Jace and Alec to make up. I love the Luke moments. I love his relationship with Simon. (The Climon thing is an issue I won’t even dive into right now. Gah.)

I love the climaxing kiss at the wedding, the moment where everyone finally stopped being stupid and gave in. I love that Lydia didn’t protest it. It’s nice to see a different portrayal of the stand-in for drama love interest.  I love Simon’s nerdy rant that made me laugh, probably too loudly. (Actually, I just love Simon.) I love Alec asking Magnus out, FINALLY. I mean, everyone’s relationship is a freaking mess, but at least they’re on the way to fixing theirs.

I do feel sorry for Lydia in the sense of she’s lost two fiances now, and knowing her history, I don’t think Alec should’ve proposed. I love that she was supportive, but it can’t be easy to be left at the altar. I think that’s my biggest issue with this storyline.

And… ooh. Ugh. I didn’t wanna discuss The Incest Thing™, but I guess I have to. I’m gonna try not to reveal book spoilers? But, uh, trust in this. This is not a Star Wars situation, I swear. Let’s stop talking about it, gross. I love Jace’s devotion to his adopted family.

All in all, well-rounded episodes. Yay! Let’s see what the season finale will bring.

Murder at the NYPD Academy (Castle 8×15)

Well, I’ve always enjoyed the intense episodes more. And I gotta say, this intense one was pretty great, all in all.

Things I Definitely Liked

• Beckett: I mean, I always love Beckett, but while last week was a goofy terrible Castle episode,  this one was an awesome Beckett episode. She was great in her take-down of the killer, the way it used to be.
• Beckett’s relationship with the recruit: See, X Files people? That’s how you do “Younger Person Who Reminds Me Of Me. This was a sweet and intriguing relationship. I didn’t expect the Decker storyline to go where it did, but it was definitely well portrayed.
• The case itself: I didn’t think it was Decker, because when this show develops a character, it usually doesn’t throw them under the bus. I thought it was the Sergeant (and I thought I was right), but this one still managed to surprise me, which I liked.
• Martha’s book: I felt an overwhelming sense of proud-ness as well. I’ve always enjoyed Martha.

Things I Didn’t Particularly Love

• That I didn’t miss Castle: …. …. I mean…. It was probably because it was so case focused and character focused, similar to In The Belly of the Beast, but even in that one, I felt Castle’s absence (and was mad at no reunion scene). I mean, idk. I don’t enjoy the PI stuff. I enjoy cases like these, with great character stuff mixed in. Which, we didn’t get a ton a ton of, but it was there. I dunno. It’s no secret that I think this show has veered a bit off the rails (and this I thought the break up would fix because I was an idiot), but this was definitely one of the better ones. And unfortunately enough, one of the better ones had a large Castle absence.
• The Caskett mess: I don’t know what’s going on with their relationship. I miss what we had in S5-6, which somehow got blurred in S7, who knows why. All I’m saying at this point is that I don’t know. I’m ready for them to be done with the break up that  I can’t believe I supported. I mean, you can’t have the tension of the earlier seasons if they’re barely interacting.

I dunno. The LokSat thing has lost what interest I had in it. My flawed logic about what I thought was going to happen at the beginning of the season makes me want to pound my head against a wall. And the case was the best part of this ep.

Vampires and Betrayals and AUs (Shadowhunters 1×08-10)

Did the Scarecrow see this one coming?

I know, I know, I haven’t finished these reviews and I suck, I know, but on the bright side, I’ll have a S2 to be late reviewing! (Jk, I’m gonna do better, I swear.)

Well, I could say something about how Clary should’ve answered the phone but that wouldn’t go over well, would it?

I’m sorry. The emotions in this episode were great, and I thought Clary’s struggle of what to do with Simon was well played out. And Simon’s reaction was pretty realistic too. But the burying scene creeped me out, what with the music and stuff. (I’m getting tired of watching red heads bury their dorky best friend.)

I’m not sure how I feel about this Alec subplot?

But they did finally mention the Lightwoods involvement with the Circle.

Although none of this went well next episode, of course. Lotsa messes. Although I love the portrayal of the Climon friendship, and Clary’s defense of Simon. Also, Clary bringing the vamps and werewolves together to fight the Clave = awesome.

As for the next one? Well, every TV show worth its salt has an AU episode, and this one was cool (although disappointed at no Luke and Jocelyn married). I love nerdy AU Izzy with her SW shirt and glasses. AU Alec is definitely more fun than regular Alec.

Speaking of regular Alec, he was a mess this episode, what with the parabatai possible bond breaking thing. Although I love how protective he was of Izzy. But? You would think that his and Jace’s relationship was stronger than that?

Whatever. I loved the demonic killer fakeout. Si and Luke have raised the stakes for faking out cops.

Also Chairman Meow and Church! Love those kitties.

And Here We Have Another Halfway Explanation! (Castle 8×14)

Did the writers get the memo that this episode was supposed to focus on Castle’s missing time? Because honestly, we got all of ten minutes, I believe, focused on it.

It’s no secret that I hate the missing time storyline. It had the potential to be something great, but instead of being connected to something tangible in Castle’s past (like his dad or one of the many murderers they’ve ticked off through the years), it established Castle as someone that the CI-freaking-A would go snatch up to save the world, and not even let him (assumedly) make a phone call to let Beckett know he wasn’t, ya know, dead. I hated this cheap excuse for the storyline that was meant to put off the wedding (whole other rant) but whatever, hopefully we won’t hear about it anymore after this episode, right? But the least they could’ve done  is make us take it slightly more seriously by having Castle do more than run off to LA to solve it only to forget all about it when the GDS had him in sight. Was this the same Castle who wanted to leave mid-case last episode to find out what happened?

And unlike last time Beckett was absent, they didn’t offer an explanation as to why she didn’t appear in this episode. Castle wanted her to come last episode. I understand why she was absent but I don’t understand why it had to be this episode. Why wouldn’t Beckett at least be checking in on Castle while he was in LA, if it was supposedly dangerous? How did she not know what Castle was mixed into, seeing as how Ryan and Esposito were digging into it? That wasn’t handled very well, period. They could’ve offered a broader explanation.

In terms of the (hastily delivered) explanation, I guess it’s better than nothing (or another spy mission), connecting it to LokSat and saying Castle needed to protect Beckett. Fine, fine, so how did he get involved with the LokSat mess? Did it have something to do with the fact that this was right after they’d caught Bracken and he wanted to make sure he couldn’t still hurt them? (See, this is why the episode needed to be centered around the missing time, to fill in these holes.) I fail to see how Castle getting into whatever LokSat mess he got into makes him responsible for the AG team’s deaths. Didn’t they die because they’d found something connecting them to LokSat? Fine, so Castle had his own memories erased. But does LokSat know that? He was on national TV aftr returning (I could say something about keeping a low profile since they still didn’t understand what happened, but whatever). Why did LokSat come after Castle only as it related to Beckett if they, quoth Rita (I think), kill anyone who gets close to them? Fine, I accept this explanation (even though I still think Castle would’ve found a way to let Beckett know he was alive before he got into the LokSat mess, there was at least two weeks before that happened), but there are still lots of plot holes that need filling.

The case was boring. Sigh. There are ways to do a case mixed with mythology (see: Rise, which I don’t love but is much better than this episode) but this is not it.

I guess I can appreciate the Lanie storyline. It’s always nice to have a storyline centered around her again, since her appearances are too rare.

This entire episode just… I’m tired. I’m just so tired, guys. I miss the show the way it used to be. See u in 2 weeks.

Tiny Rant In Here, Plus What I Enjoyed in Castle 8×13

Solid episode, although definitely not my favorite. The true stars of the episode are above.

Things I Definitely Liked

• The ESL class: those guys were just so dang endearing. I loved that they all became buddies with Castle and helped him take down the fed judge (almost). And I was really hoping that none of them was the killer. Speaking of…
• The teacher being the killer: I didn’t see it coming!
• Martha’s end speech: “You are the ones who make this country great.”
• Most of the Caskett scenes were decent and cute.

Things I Didn’t Particularly Love

• The missing time: the missing time, the stupid missing time. I take back a lot of what I said in past reviews, but I don’t take back what I said about the missing time. See my S7 rant. Ugggghhhh. Let sleeping dogs lie, please. I’m not curious. I want to forget it.

Welp, that’s about it for what I didn’t like, but honestly I have a vendetta with this storyline. I waitd all summer, and was handed this on a silver platter. A mystery writer being contacted to save the world. Yeah, that makes sense, she said sarcastically. Honestly, I hated the entire thing, and I don’t think this is gonna make it any better. I mean, what was Castle doing in LA? Yeah I know that’s the question we need answered, but seriously. It looked to me like he was walks around free and clear. So why didn’t he call his family to let them know that he wasn’t dead? They probably were airing news reports about his disappearance in LA. Did he see that one that Beckett gave, the one 3XK used in the masterpiece Reckoning? I’m sorry, but I don’t buy that Castle would stand by and let jios family worry and him. It’s the exact thing that he got mad at Beckett for in S4, and he knew she was okay then! I just want a good explanation of why he never called them, or sent them a “hey, not dead” text. One explanation. I don’t even care about the rest. I realize that they seem to think they can cast Castle as some kind of super spy, when he’s always just been a talented and determined writer, so I won’t comment on that. Or the fact that next week’s episode looks goofy instead of a serious dwelve into this serious storyline. (It’s the same feeling I got when they released the “Chuck Norris” clip from Sleeper.) Maybe they can connect it to LokSat and attempt to fix these spaghetti noodle plots. (Petition to bring 3XK back from the dead and have him be the new Castle villian?)

What was I talking about? Oh yeah, the episode. Solid stuff.

Apocalypse Later, MSR Now (I Wish) (X Files S10 Finale)

Happy birthday to me. And happy birthday to Scully, since 2/23 is hers and 2/22 is mine. Which, I was born right before This Is Not Happening... so happy birthday, Scully, here’s a dead Mulder? God. Happy birthday! Mulder’s half dead on a bridge and a UFO is hovering over you, and it’s the end of the world! Make a wish?

Let’s get this out of the way: I hate apocalyptic stories. I hate them! The only thing I enjoy is looting scenes and sleeping in strange places with your Apocalypse Crew. I’ve hated apocalypse stories ever since my dad decided to show me 2012 weeks before the apocalypse according to the Mayans and XF. (Bad idea.) I think apocalypse stories are depressing and I don’t like them. That’s not to say I haven’t seen good apocalypse stories. I have. But if I have a choice, I don’t like to watch them.

Which, um, Mulder and Scully better save the world because I can’t handle a S11 that is all apocalypse stories. What would that even be? Would Mulder and Scully go on the run? Would they take Skinner with them, because I don’t think anyone would enjoy that! (Love you, Skinman, but find your own ride.) Does this mean no more MOTW? ARE ALL THE MONSTERS DEAD?!? IS DAGGOO DEAD? WHERE’S THE PUPPY?!?

Sorry. But I hate apocalypse stories and I hope this is something that’s fixable because I don’t want Apocalypse In Season 11. This will be like that War of the Worlds, the modern version. 

Anyways. XF can be summed up in Imagine Dragons songs. It used to be Smoke and Mirrors (“I want to believe…”) but now it’s Radioactive  (“this is it, the apocalypse”). (Also, not to advertise, but I saw them in concert over the summer and it was one of the best things ever.) More accurately, XF can be summed up by a mashup of the chorus of Smoke and Mirrors, the theme song, a haunted house soundtrack, and love songs playing at brief and random intervals, and then Radioactive plays at the end.

Anyway!

Okay, so this episode… I don’t hate it. It’s not gonna be my new favorite. Shall we discuss?

1. So Reyes is evil now? 😦 😦 I would be less upset about this if I hadn’t gotten attached to her during S9 when Mulder was gone and Scully was sad, and if I hadn’t been legitimately looking forward to seeing her again. And I don’t get why she went to work for CSM? Like? What would they have done if they’d brought back Doggett, have him hold the lighter? Did they just make Reyes evil for the convenience of giving Scully info that I may or may not remember? What was the purpose of this?
2. They cheated two great characters out of plots to the point where they just seemed like they were there to make fans happy. I mean, no I do not want it to be The Skinner and Reyes Show, but Skinner didn’t do anything (much less be his true sassy lawyer self) and Reyes did an OOC thing that, like all of the mythology, makes no sense to me. I mean, XF has always had it’s success because of it’s great leading characters and it’s great but not too involved side characters. But after making a big show of bringing Reyes and Skinner back (see opening credits on about half of these episodes), why not give them something fun to do instead of developing new characters?
3. Not that I’m against Miller and Einstein, but they felt out of place here. (But thanks for babysitting Mulder, Miller.)
4. Was there really any cause to bring CSM back? I mean, seriously, that zombie sitting there and taunting Mulder could’ve been replaced with, oh, ANYONE, and maybe Mulder could’ve been helping Scully out in DC? I mean, I know that CSM is XF’s iconic villian or whatever, but honestly last I checked there’s like ten other guys. Why bring him back for the 10 hundredth time just so he could taunt Mulder for about five minutes and have Reyes shove a cigarette into his throat?
5. I did actually like some stuff about this episode. Getting there.
6. Protective Mulder though. “If you harm her… in any way…”
7. Protective Scully though! The only fricking scene with them in the episode was the cutest.
8. So they’re gonna end it there? No confirmed S11? They’re gonna end it with a close up of Scully’s eye? Which isn’t a bad way to end, but what about Mulder? What about the ship? What about William? I don’t care about the world… but what about the world? I understand the concept of cliffhangers, but honestly, why end it there if you think it may end there?

On the revival. I loved it. I did! (Exempting Babylon. Immediately assume I’m not talking about Babylon. Unless I’m complaining.)  But it all felt a little rushed to me. I mean, it’s been great. But I think they’re trying to do in 6 episodes what they normally would do in 24. And they probably could’ve achieved that if they’d found a way to connect all the storylines. Which isn’t hard, by the way. Founder’s Mutation, the gov commissioned those experiments. (Was that what they were saying anyway? Cool.) Home Again, the people in the hierarchy of Philadelphia are being taken down by the little guy, thereby the people are rebelling against a higher power. You find a way to tie everything together with a neat, albeit flimsy, bow, and your 6 episode season is more complete. (Also, um, maybe make your finale feel like an ending if more is still a question?) But the thing is, there are all these great little moments I want more of. I want more of Mulder and Scully hugging in a hallway, cuddling on a log, holding hands, bantering in their hotel room, saying obscure references to their undying love for each other. I want more William daydreams (and an actual William appearance). I want more Scully with her dog, more Skinner scolding and protecting his agents, more monsters and excellent cases, more protective Mulder and Scully. I want more funny episodes, more scary episodes, more heart wrenching episodes. I want more of all of it. (No more line dancing, though. I’ve had Achy Breaky Heart in my head for a week and I want to kick Mulder’s butt.) And it’s over now, and there’s hope for more, but I don’t think they should try and cram so much into one episode. I love Home Again, but parts of that one definitely felt rushed, and I wish there had been more time to focus on Maggie’s death AND the case. Based off things I heard about these episodes, I thought there would be some underlying storyline to tie them all together, and since I know S11 can’t (and shouldn’t necessarily) be 24 episodes (I’m hoping for more than 6, but I’ll take what I can get!), I hope they have that in S11.

Speaking of S11, I’ve decided to throw out episode ideas just in case they’re stumped for em. Guys, you don’t even have to give me any credits should you try to use these! I just want to see these played out at some point. (I am a writer though, wink wink, ha ha, ugh ugh.)

• An  action packed, well rounded, possibly two part premiere, that fixes the apocalypse, heals Mulder, fixes whatever is happening with Scully and the alien ship, brings William back into the picture, redeems Reyes, confirms that Doggett, wherever he is, is not holding the lighter, sends Skinner to law school, brings Maggie back to life, and sends Scully back to their house together. Yeah, I know, I’m being awfully optimitic (but after CSM has come back as a smoking zombie like 50 times, I think we can handle the resurrection of Margaret Scully, longtime MSR shipper), but I will take specifically three of these and be happy with my life decisions.
• A Daggoo episode! Where he doesn’t die at the end! In fact, let’s redo Quagmire. Let’s strand Scully and Mulder, minus I-Phones, out on that rock for another life talk, while Daggoo fights the alligator and avenges his predecessor. At the end, we see a title card. For Queequeg. That dog deserved better.
• Another ghost episode. You people owe me. It could be low budget though. Just lock Mulder and Scully in a house for 42 minutes while a haunted house soundtrack plays and they talk about their feelings. (Redo How The Ghosts Stole Christmas, in other words. But creepier!)
• Banking off that, do another episode that scares the ever-living crap out of me! The whole reason I found this show was because a.) I  like will they won’t they cop shows and more importantly b.) I love horror films. See my movie reviews page. It’s time to  make me turn on that lamp beside my bed again! Personal creepy favorites (but not my favorite for any other reason, they sucked in terms of Mulder and Scully): Calusari, Invocation.
• AU episode! I’ll tell you straight off, an AU episode will be a lot funnier then any more line dancing to terrible songs. (Darin Morgan, I am looking directly to you to write this one.)
• Staying with the comedy theme, let’s do an episode where Skinner has to tag along on a case for some reason. Now, before you people throw crab apples at me and call me hypocrite, wouldn’t it be fun to see how awkward it would be for everyone? Skinner complaining about their investigative methods and all. Seriously, I would watch the ever-loving crap out of this. (Vince Gilligan? Make this the new Bad Blood?)
• Let’s do a William/Mulder and Scully as parents focused episode. I will take just one, but I’d love an entire season.
• Let’s have a scene where Mulder and Scully talk about their relationship. It’s been 23 years of skating around. It’s time. And the good news is, once you get them back together, you can kinda go back to ignoring it! I will take the knowledge that they are happily living together. Although a kiss would be nice. Although I have never claimed to want the show to be about Mulder and Scully being a dorky suburban married couple. I’d watch it, but no.  This is The X Files. Just make some references to the fact that they undyingly love each other and we’ll be good.
• For more info on my X Files suggestions… jk. Hope they announce S11 soon! I am getting antsy.

One last kiss for the road. I’m gonna miss these idiots.